As a foreigner in the Finnish army

I’m a son of a Russian diplomat, who by mere by accident ended up staying here and getting a Finnish passport. The first mail I got as a Finnish citizen was from the Finnish army.

In my home country the army is something you get away from as far as possible. Surprisingly, despite lacking any factual grounds, it is a common notion in Finland as well, which to me seems plain ironic.

To double the excitement I asked to be sent to the Swedish speaking regiment in Western Finland, without ever studying Swedish and having a not-so-good command of Finnish. And the fun began.

Status Quo playing You’re in the army now as we’re walking through the brigade gates for the first time. Everyone shouting and smiling at us at the same time. We’re always in a hurry somewhere, but always waiting for something. The first several weeks were frustrating. Very cold and very rugged training. I thought a lot during that time. How can we have these sergeants tell us to do A when B or C was obviously more plausible and rewarding? Why do they give REAL GUNS to a good 20–30 % of these people, when they obviously are unstable teenagers? And why are 50–60 % even here, when they are physically (not to mention mentally) incapable of handling the load? I stopped stressing about these things after about a month.

It just got to me. The brainwashing. I saw order and stability, based on authoritarian rule, where I was at the bottom of the food chain. It seemed to make perfect sense why things were done the way they were even if I and hundreds of others like me had to do most of the work. Nothing questioned, just blindly executing orders.

Every difficulty was overcome with Finnish precision and Swedish charisma. I made many good friends, who often times had similar points of view on many things. But boredom started creeping up as soon as the first shock passed. After a while training became a lot easier, it was a routine: walk in line, if someone shoots at you – fall down and shoot back.

During sometimes-long periods of inactivity (like the last month out of my six month service) I read, which got me thinking again. Instead of getting ready just for war, which should it come will end very quickly, with a push of a button so to speak, why not complement it with training for everyday life?

It is possible to learn the basics in two months or less, given efficient scheduling. Yes, it will be hectic, but no time is wasted. Make it volunteer-based for a decent salary after that. Apparently, many women would like to see if they could manage in the army. Some will, but for most a more real-life alternative would be far more practical, like the lottas from Lotta Svärd, being trained in communications, first aid and other supporting functions. Direct the money to better equipment, better food, have courses on world politics, economy, let the regular soldier know the big picture. If an army to exist (which I think is a flawed concept, even just for defense), why not make it an institution, where people think and learn something that is beneficial to them in the long term